Living an Affirmative Life--In Summary

What I affirm as my Truth, becomes my Reality.

Whatever I hold as true      speak as my reality      becomes

my daily affirmation.

Every time I speak an “I am…” statement, I am practicing affirmations.

If I don’t want      the truth of my experience       to be what it is

I will change       what I affirm      

to reflect      what I want       the truth      to be.

I may not have a choice about my external situation

but I do have a choice

about what I affirm      as the truth      of my life. 

There is a Universal Law that states

“We all get to be right!”

Human beings      whether we realize or acknowledge it     

are driven to be RIGHT.

The question is, "What do I want to be right about?"

The answer to that question       becomes what I affirm as my truth.

Remember:

What you affirm as your Truth, becomes your Reality**

Three Important Questions

1.)       “Is this something I want to be right about?”

There are certain words I look for in my self-talk.  Words like “never” or “always” or “can’t”.  When I hear one of these words, particularly when it is connected with a self-evaluation, I ask the question “Is this something you want to be right about?” 

If the answer to the question is YES, I reaffirm it. However, if the answer is NO, I immediately affirm a positive statement of its opposite. This becomes my new affirmation.

2.)       “What is there here, within this condition or situation, which I have yet to learn?”  

If the situation remains unchanged, continue to affirm the positive statement of the new truth, while exploring the question “What is there here, within this condition or situation, which I have yet to learn?” Much can be learned from exploring the possibilities.

3.)       “What might be the secondary gains for continuing to consciously, or unconsciously, believe something that does not seem to serve me?” 

If I can determine what these secondary gains are, I may be able to find more productive ways for getting these needs met, and thereby free up the space into which a new truth can live.

Spirit is the Infinite Source of all that is good and true and whole.

I claim my Oneness with this Divine Source in the Universe

and hold as Truth that I am, that we all are,

Whole, perfect and complete!

With gratitude I release this truth into the law that states

 “We all get to be right!”

And so it is!

**Okay,okay. Of course there are exceptions! No matter how much I want to be right about living on the moon, I won’t end up on the moon--though I might be considered Loony, by some…:-)

Stay tuned for more loony-tune ideas…

Why Don't My Affirmations Manifest?

I have found two reasons that my own affirmations (seem to) fail to manifest.

 

1. Secondary Gains

 

Sometimes secondary gains keep us invested in being right about the wrong things.

 

My friend, Ruth, has for years, suffered from debilitating migraine headaches.  Though various treatments work for a time, one after another fail and the condition returns.  For Ruth, her truth was “I have chronic migraines and nothing helps.” I asked her once how she managed it—what she did to cope with or relieve the pain.  She told me that she had to go into her room, shut the door, close the curtains and go to bed. When she did this, her family knew that they must leave her alone.

 

I asked her if she ever gave herself permission to go into her bedroom, shut the door and curtains and simply take time for herself.  She replied that she wished she could, but her life was too stressful --too demanding--too overwhelming to allow for the time to do that!

 

No, she did not consciously create her migraines or choose to have them. However, her body, on a cellular level, knew that what she needed/wanted was a break --with undisturbed rest.  Since her acting-in-the-world-conscious-mind would not allow for what was desired, her mind and body worked together to create the condition, which required, just what she needed.

 

There is nothing wrong with a secondary gain; it is often the only way we can get a need met. It may be the ‘something’ that we unconsciously need/want/require, but don’t consciously feel we have the time for, the right to ask for, the hope of getting any other way.

 

A co-worker once shared with me that she was having problems in her marriage. She was so unhappy and she no longer enjoyed being sexually intimate with her husband.  Not long after this we were talking again and she mentioned that she was having awful reoccurring yeast infections and she couldn’t figure out why. I asked her how it most impacted her life.  She replied that it was too painful for her to have sex with her husband. 

 

Certainly, she did not intentionally make herself sick. She wasn’t even aware of the connection. But, being right about her illness had a secondary gain. It gave her permission to get what she wanted without having to say the words, “I don’t want to have sex with you.”  Once she was ready to speak the words, she no longer needed the pain.

 

2. Something to be learned

 

When Lynnie and I were looking to buy our first house together, my affirmation was "the perfect home is ours". For over two years, circumstances seemed to thwart us and I was becoming frustrated. But, sometimes, no matter how much we want to be right about a new life-truth, on a deep level, there is still a reason for staying where we are. There is still something to be learned from being right here.

 

What I came to realize is, a part of me wasn't yet ready to make that commitment. We were still learning how to create a home together, and that could be done where ever we lived. When we were ready, the house we finally purchased, was exactly what we wanted and needed, because we had already learned how to create a HOME.

...to be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But, This is Who I Am

The all-pervasive question we, as humans, have asked ourselves for centuries is “Who am I?” 

How do I define myself? What makes me who I am?

I AM statements are hard to change. It isn’t easy to let go of a tenaciously held belief about oneself, even something that may be unpleasant or detrimental.

It has taken years to get a handle on who we believe ourselves to be, and the I AM statement feels solid, safe and sure --at the very least, familiar.

Asking me to change who I am, who I have always been, can feel frightening and resistance is often the first response.

But, when I open to the possibility of changing my life, by changing my mind, I realize that I can be right about something else. I can affirm health rather than sickness, abundance instead of lack. I can stop negative self-talk and declare that I am whole, perfect and complete. And, by so doing, move my attitude, my experience, and even my reality, from one truth to another.

How empowering it is to fully-grasp that what I hold and affirm as truth, manifests in my life. This means that I need not remain buffeted about by situations or stay a victim of circumstance. And even when I do, there is no fault or blame. There is simply the gentle, ever-present question. “Is this what you want to be right about, Sylvia? It is your choice.”

...to be continued.

 

 

 

Gravity

I have always taken exception to the idea that I have to say an affirmation with enough conviction for my desire to manifest; have enough absolute faith for my “prayer to be answered”.

This feels like a “fail-safe mechanism” to me. You know, if one's prayer remains un-manifest, it’s because there wasn't enough belief, enough surrender, enough faith.

The old time faith healers could always fall back on this, when the healing didn't occur, making it somehow a lack in the person seeking the healing.

I believe it has much more to do with, what the I Ching calls, the suspention of disbelief. When I suspend my disbelief, I create the needed opening through which a new truth can grow. There is no need for more faith or enough surrender.

How empowering it is to know that I can change my life, by changing my mind about what I want to be right about.

As I practice this law, I see that it simply works as does the law of gravity.

Without the need to manifest the appropriate amount of faith, gravity will always keep me grounded, safe from flying off this planet, as it hurls through space --whether I believe it or not. Also true, gravity can kill me, if I choose to jump from a tall building.

I can choose to be victimized or empowered by Universal Law, because whether I believe it or not, it is at work. 

Ernest Holmes puts it like this: "Our outer seen life is an exact duplication of our inner unseen thought life…This principle operates relentlessly, whether we believe it or not."

...to be continued.

 

 

Driven

As human beings --whether we want to admit it or not-- we are driven to be RIGHT. The statement, "that's just the way I am!" provides a rationale for behaving and remaining a particular way.

I may hate, never being on time, but as long as I affirm "I am always late!" I will continue being right about it.

"See? Late again!"

Whether I realize it or not, I am practicing affirmations every day. What I hold as true, speak as my reality, becomes my daily affirmation, by default. And, what I affirm as truth becomes the reality of, not only my attitude about life, but also the reality of the outer life I create.

It is, I believe, the Universal law, we all get to be right, in action.

Earnest Holmes put it this way: "…any idea held steadily in Mind is bound to reproduce itself in the outer life."

So what do I want to be right about? The answer to that question becomes what I affirm as my new truth. "I arrive at my appointments in a timely manner." And, since we all get to be right, this becomes my new reality.

I once owned a leather fanny pack that had several zippers. Invariably, I failed to zip it closed and things would fall out --money, credit cards, important stuff like that. Every time this happened, I stated what I believed to be true, "Jeez, I never remember to zip my butt pack!!"

Clearly, this wasn't what I wanted the truth to be, so I changed the statement to: "I always zip my bag shut" and was surprised that this new truth, very quickly, became my reality. Even when I did forget to zip, instead of any reprimand, I simply pulled the zipper closed, while saying, "I always zip my bag shut!" and by so doing, changed the truth of my experience.

Don't take my word for it. Try it for yourself.  :-)

...to be continued.

We All Get to be Right

"That which I hold as my truth, not only determines my attitude about my reality, it actually shifts the circumstance of my reality."

It’s funny how something so unlikely can create a coalescence of thought, feeling and experience. It was watching a movie –a movie I didn't even like very much- that brought it all together for me.

Something in that film became a lightning rod, powerfully connecting every bit of information previously gathered. Beginning with The Little Engine That Could, it culminated into an integrated, realized understanding, some fifty years later. It is a truth that now informs my experience in the world. It is a part of my Being.

For me, the Universal Law that states, “We all get to be right!” makes perfect sense.

The burning question now becomes, “What do you want to be right about, Sylvia?”

...to be continued

The Little Engine that Could

Do you remember the book “The Little Engine That Could”? 

 

The story presented the problem of getting Christmas toys to the children across the mountains. The Big Engines were certain the mountain was far too high for them to pull the heavy load of toys, up and over it, into the next valley.

 

However, when the Little Engine affirmed, “I think” and “I can!”…well you know the rest.

 

My mother had no idea, the seed she was planting, by reading this simple children's book to me.

 

As I grew up, in my father’s church, a verse like, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” was misinterpreted to mean, if you think sinful thoughts, you’ve committed the sin. Now, I realize what it really taught. What you hold as your truth becomes your reality.

 

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” all the way over the mountain.

 

In my college studies of psychology and spirituality, I became an articulate purveyor of axioms like “we create our own reality” and “thought creates form” and “we all get to be right”. Even so, I cannot say these truths consistently informed my life.

 

Over the years, from many different sources, bits of insight continued to provide a resonating reiteration that thought, indeed, creates form. That which I hold as my truth, not only determines my attitude about my reality, it actually shifts the circumstance of my reality.

 

...to be continued.

 

Insight Rarely Comes Fully Formed

Some years ago, a PBS series aired (the name of which escapes me) where, each week, the narrator took the viewer on an amazing journey through time and history. The program showed how knowledge and creativity, from many different corners of the globe, came together to facilitate, finally, the creation of --say, the modern computer-- or whatever was the object of that week's inquiry.  

 

Similarly, a revelation rarely appears fully formed into our consciousness, but rather requires many pieces coming together into a whole. A new thought, an insight, an idea is taken in through the intellect. There, it is processed, mulled over, questioned. Verbal exploration of this new thought brings a greater understanding and at some point, this intellectual knowing gives way, dropping into the heart space, where we experience it on a feeling level.

As more and more related bits of information (perhaps from things we read or conversations with friends or classes we take) are brought to our attention, this insight moves down into our belly where we digest it--so to speak-- try it out, gather evidence of its validity. Even so, it still could not be called an integrated, fully functioning part of how we manifest in the world.

Some insights may take but a moment to reach the place of integration. More often than not, it takes much longer for a new thought/truth to reach the core of our Being—that place where it is no longer just an interesting concept or even a stated Universal truth, but our Truth, a truth that daily informs our life. 

 

Put simply, the process of integration might look like this: think it, speak it, feel it, do it, BE it.

 

...to be continued.

 

In the Present

There are those who have the aspiration      and the ability

to be               and stay             in the present.
I, on the other hand, am not yet so enlightened.
I cannot live only in the isolated moment
where current actions have no accountability to the future
and spoken intention is a Spiritual anathema.

I remain       in the unenlightened place        where my current feelings

and actions are still based on, influenced by, the LOVE that
moves from that past place of inception,
through the many stages of awareness, growth and change
into the present (where I do try to live)
and on through into the future…

The love that I experience for my child, my wife,

for all those I value and hold dear--
my love of the sunshine rushing in my window as I write this,
for digging in the dirt of the garden, for creative expression,
for the sea, for this planet, for Justice and Peace and so much more…
This    LOVE   that I feel    is    the only   thing I KNOW     about the future.

And though I cannot say how it will manifest beyond this moment

I simply know that it does         and will          exist there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the Midst of It -- 2

Years ago, I recall reading a story about a woman's experience in a Nazi concentration camp. Amazingly, even in that horrific environment, she was able to experience joy. No doubt it was a challenge, but somehow she was able to take pleasure in the beauty of the sunset, the few wild flowers growing along the fence, the song she remembered, the giving of a smile or a word of encouragement to her fellow prisoners. It is amazing to me that, even in such a circumstance, this woman held to the truth that joy is a choice and that in giving it, she received.
 
In a more recent story, a woman named Jane Korman took her children, along with their grandfather who had survived internment, to visit several of these camps. At each location, and while playing the song I Will Survive, they danced an additional memory into existence. Though some criticized her, saying she dishonored the dead, she believed her actions, her expression of joy, honored the spirits of all those who had suffered there. She believed that joy does not dishonor suffering, nor does it discount pain.

Certainly, there is nothing fun about tragedy, loss, death. Watching a loved one die, a child suffer, a relationship end, is heart wrenching. Yet, in the face of the most difficult circumstance, joy can be chosen, laughter can be shared, pleasure can be created --without denying the difficulty. It is within the capacity of the human experience to make that choice.
 
In the midst of whatever challenge I may face, I am reminded:  If a young woman in a death camp can find a way to experience joy, certainly I can. And sometimes, choosing to crawl into bed and having a good cry, is the most helpful choice. This, to me, is empowering --knowing that I have a say, that I can choose to cry or smile or howl at the stars or laugh at a joke or enjoy the beauty of nature or meditate alone or visit friends, taking pleasure in their company--  knowing there is not a single feeling that is wrong, or behavior that is outside of my choice. 

The young woman in the concentration camp had no control over her environment and the horrors that went along with it. What she did have a choice about is how she lived, what she focused on, in the midst of it.

She inspires me.
 
 

Where Does the Moment Live?

There is only the present, I am told -- this moment.

The past is gone, the future         yet to be.

And-- is not the Present        wrapped up in the package of the past and the future? Like the meat of the filling --without the two pieces of bread—

there is no sandwich, no “meal”.

The current moment must have a context, or one is like the true amnesiac who lives ONLY in that place of immediacy, with NO connection to past memories or future aspirations.  How can this be anything but life deadening—Soul killing?

My past experiences, as well as my future goals and dreams make me who I am in the NOW. The Moment is meaningless—adrift-- without a landscape to pass through, without a place of Origin          and a Home to head for...

A seed, without the soil from which to grow and the sun toward which to reach, remains  just a dried up bit of unrealized, organic potential, with only a picture            of what it could be      on its package...

AND also true. If I but dig up the soil and reach for the sun but never      break open the package      or plant the seed, there can be no growth      no flower      no fruit…

It is, I realize, all about Balance. And this, for me, is the most difficult place to remain! Balanced in a position      where      I neither live in the Land of Melancholy Rememberings and "One day…Then"     nor in the silent, featureless landscape a context-less      Present.

Balance allows for, requires, using the experiences and lessons of my past, as well as the dreams and goals for my future, to create a Present

within which I can Live and Grow.

AND

I must be able to do this     without attachment to the outcome looking a particular way, trusting that the Great Sage/Source in the Universe

will continue to support the process.

AND

Letting Go of Attachment to Outcome does NOT mean having no feelings or desires -- no goals or dreams.

AND

Doesn't having aspirations set me up? What about disappointment?

What if I'm wrong?            I guess it goes back to the idea that life IS about risk.  

A quote by Joseph Chilton Pearce says:  "To truly live a Creative life, one must

LET GO OF THE FEAR OF BEING WRONG."

The Challenge?      Holding all of the ANDS      Simultaneously!

*Pause*

Sometimes it takes moving to the hypothetical extremes in order to find my way back to a truth…and this is certainly not to say I have arrived.

It is a process. And the process continues!

Blessed Be!

 

 

Letting Go

Important Letting Goes…







Letting go of the need to protect against disappointment by expecting the worst…besides, it doesn't work!







Letting go of attachment to outcome, ANY outcome-- Any outcome is possible.







AND Letting go of attachment to outcome does not mean having no feelings or desires, no goals or dreams. The challenge is to hold both simultaneously.







Letting go of the need to influence the situation, trusting the Sage's ability to influence …without my intervention.







Letting go of all self definition… Stay with "I am open, I am empty." Do not continually explain behavior based on past understanding…"As long as we bring the past into the present we will continue to create a future like the past" !!!







Letting go of the need to obsessively define or defend or "understand" negative behavior or situations.







Letting go of needing to make a feeling MEAN something. Learn to simply BE with the feeling without having to fence it in with words or "meaning".



I feel love



I feel sad



I feel happy BREATH into the feeling and don't go anywhere else!



I feel lonely



I feel loss



Letting go of needing to make another's actions MEAN something.







Letting go of FEAR. Believe the promise, "You will NOT be cheated of happiness.



But don't expect it to "look" a certain way.



“You need do nothing” does not mean doing nothing but rather you NEED do nothing…in other words, you do not need to manipulate the situation.