To try and wrap words around such a phenomenological experience as
LOVE, is something that has
been attempted by far better
minds than mine, for centuries, with as little success.
There are brief
moments when insight seems to be within my reach, and then it drifts away; and striving
to grasp it is like trying to catch and hold the beauty of a soap bubble. I am
finally getting that it is silly to try. This profound experience is not about facts or proof or intellectualized,
tangible reality. It is, not unlike the Tao, ineffable.
It is disturbing
for me though --being someone who has always used words as a protection, as a
way to corral, identify and explain-- to consider just FEELING the feelings.
Can I let go of
my need to line my feelings up behind words? Aren't words
needed to clarify the feelings, justify the feelings, make the feelings real?
Besides, what
might happen if I let my feelings go naked, without always having to clothe
them with words? What will happen if I leave my feelings without a fence of
words around them that tells them where they belong?
Mightn’t I
simply fly apart into a million pieces!? Oh, well!
Like
the glitter in a fairy globe,
the
fluid of my world
swirls and sparkles around me
Confounding, confusing,
delighting
me.
O
my God!
Don’t
ask me to speak
until the dizzying glow subsides—
‘til all the shimmering
settles quietly
to the
bottom.
Then
I can think clearly again.
(And it is so important to think clearly.
Isn’t it?)
On
the other hand. . .
Oh to be stirred up continually
and never
have to settle
again!
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