Why Don't My Affirmations Manifest?

I have found two reasons that my own affirmations (seem to) fail to manifest.

 

1. Secondary Gains

 

Sometimes secondary gains keep us invested in being right about the wrong things.

 

My friend, Ruth, has for years, suffered from debilitating migraine headaches.  Though various treatments work for a time, one after another fail and the condition returns.  For Ruth, her truth was “I have chronic migraines and nothing helps.” I asked her once how she managed it—what she did to cope with or relieve the pain.  She told me that she had to go into her room, shut the door, close the curtains and go to bed. When she did this, her family knew that they must leave her alone.

 

I asked her if she ever gave herself permission to go into her bedroom, shut the door and curtains and simply take time for herself.  She replied that she wished she could, but her life was too stressful --too demanding--too overwhelming to allow for the time to do that!

 

No, she did not consciously create her migraines or choose to have them. However, her body, on a cellular level, knew that what she needed/wanted was a break --with undisturbed rest.  Since her acting-in-the-world-conscious-mind would not allow for what was desired, her mind and body worked together to create the condition, which required, just what she needed.

 

There is nothing wrong with a secondary gain; it is often the only way we can get a need met. It may be the ‘something’ that we unconsciously need/want/require, but don’t consciously feel we have the time for, the right to ask for, the hope of getting any other way.

 

A co-worker once shared with me that she was having problems in her marriage. She was so unhappy and she no longer enjoyed being sexually intimate with her husband.  Not long after this we were talking again and she mentioned that she was having awful reoccurring yeast infections and she couldn’t figure out why. I asked her how it most impacted her life.  She replied that it was too painful for her to have sex with her husband. 

 

Certainly, she did not intentionally make herself sick. She wasn’t even aware of the connection. But, being right about her illness had a secondary gain. It gave her permission to get what she wanted without having to say the words, “I don’t want to have sex with you.”  Once she was ready to speak the words, she no longer needed the pain.

 

2. Something to be learned

 

When Lynnie and I were looking to buy our first house together, my affirmation was "the perfect home is ours". For over two years, circumstances seemed to thwart us and I was becoming frustrated. But, sometimes, no matter how much we want to be right about a new life-truth, on a deep level, there is still a reason for staying where we are. There is still something to be learned from being right here.

 

What I came to realize is, a part of me wasn't yet ready to make that commitment. We were still learning how to create a home together, and that could be done where ever we lived. When we were ready, the house we finally purchased, was exactly what we wanted and needed, because we had already learned how to create a HOME.

...to be continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But, This is Who I Am

The all-pervasive question we, as humans, have asked ourselves for centuries is “Who am I?” 

How do I define myself? What makes me who I am?

I AM statements are hard to change. It isn’t easy to let go of a tenaciously held belief about oneself, even something that may be unpleasant or detrimental.

It has taken years to get a handle on who we believe ourselves to be, and the I AM statement feels solid, safe and sure --at the very least, familiar.

Asking me to change who I am, who I have always been, can feel frightening and resistance is often the first response.

But, when I open to the possibility of changing my life, by changing my mind, I realize that I can be right about something else. I can affirm health rather than sickness, abundance instead of lack. I can stop negative self-talk and declare that I am whole, perfect and complete. And, by so doing, move my attitude, my experience, and even my reality, from one truth to another.

How empowering it is to fully-grasp that what I hold and affirm as truth, manifests in my life. This means that I need not remain buffeted about by situations or stay a victim of circumstance. And even when I do, there is no fault or blame. There is simply the gentle, ever-present question. “Is this what you want to be right about, Sylvia? It is your choice.”

...to be continued.

 

 

 

Gravity

I have always taken exception to the idea that I have to say an affirmation with enough conviction for my desire to manifest; have enough absolute faith for my “prayer to be answered”.

This feels like a “fail-safe mechanism” to me. You know, if one's prayer remains un-manifest, it’s because there wasn't enough belief, enough surrender, enough faith.

The old time faith healers could always fall back on this, when the healing didn't occur, making it somehow a lack in the person seeking the healing.

I believe it has much more to do with, what the I Ching calls, the suspention of disbelief. When I suspend my disbelief, I create the needed opening through which a new truth can grow. There is no need for more faith or enough surrender.

How empowering it is to know that I can change my life, by changing my mind about what I want to be right about.

As I practice this law, I see that it simply works as does the law of gravity.

Without the need to manifest the appropriate amount of faith, gravity will always keep me grounded, safe from flying off this planet, as it hurls through space --whether I believe it or not. Also true, gravity can kill me, if I choose to jump from a tall building.

I can choose to be victimized or empowered by Universal Law, because whether I believe it or not, it is at work. 

Ernest Holmes puts it like this: "Our outer seen life is an exact duplication of our inner unseen thought life…This principle operates relentlessly, whether we believe it or not."

...to be continued.

 

 

Driven

As human beings --whether we want to admit it or not-- we are driven to be RIGHT. The statement, "that's just the way I am!" provides a rationale for behaving and remaining a particular way.

I may hate, never being on time, but as long as I affirm "I am always late!" I will continue being right about it.

"See? Late again!"

Whether I realize it or not, I am practicing affirmations every day. What I hold as true, speak as my reality, becomes my daily affirmation, by default. And, what I affirm as truth becomes the reality of, not only my attitude about life, but also the reality of the outer life I create.

It is, I believe, the Universal law, we all get to be right, in action.

Earnest Holmes put it this way: "…any idea held steadily in Mind is bound to reproduce itself in the outer life."

So what do I want to be right about? The answer to that question becomes what I affirm as my new truth. "I arrive at my appointments in a timely manner." And, since we all get to be right, this becomes my new reality.

I once owned a leather fanny pack that had several zippers. Invariably, I failed to zip it closed and things would fall out --money, credit cards, important stuff like that. Every time this happened, I stated what I believed to be true, "Jeez, I never remember to zip my butt pack!!"

Clearly, this wasn't what I wanted the truth to be, so I changed the statement to: "I always zip my bag shut" and was surprised that this new truth, very quickly, became my reality. Even when I did forget to zip, instead of any reprimand, I simply pulled the zipper closed, while saying, "I always zip my bag shut!" and by so doing, changed the truth of my experience.

Don't take my word for it. Try it for yourself.  :-)

...to be continued.

We All Get to be Right

"That which I hold as my truth, not only determines my attitude about my reality, it actually shifts the circumstance of my reality."

It’s funny how something so unlikely can create a coalescence of thought, feeling and experience. It was watching a movie –a movie I didn't even like very much- that brought it all together for me.

Something in that film became a lightning rod, powerfully connecting every bit of information previously gathered. Beginning with The Little Engine That Could, it culminated into an integrated, realized understanding, some fifty years later. It is a truth that now informs my experience in the world. It is a part of my Being.

For me, the Universal Law that states, “We all get to be right!” makes perfect sense.

The burning question now becomes, “What do you want to be right about, Sylvia?”

...to be continued

The Little Engine that Could

Do you remember the book “The Little Engine That Could”? 

 

The story presented the problem of getting Christmas toys to the children across the mountains. The Big Engines were certain the mountain was far too high for them to pull the heavy load of toys, up and over it, into the next valley.

 

However, when the Little Engine affirmed, “I think” and “I can!”…well you know the rest.

 

My mother had no idea, the seed she was planting, by reading this simple children's book to me.

 

As I grew up, in my father’s church, a verse like, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” was misinterpreted to mean, if you think sinful thoughts, you’ve committed the sin. Now, I realize what it really taught. What you hold as your truth becomes your reality.

 

“I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…” all the way over the mountain.

 

In my college studies of psychology and spirituality, I became an articulate purveyor of axioms like “we create our own reality” and “thought creates form” and “we all get to be right”. Even so, I cannot say these truths consistently informed my life.

 

Over the years, from many different sources, bits of insight continued to provide a resonating reiteration that thought, indeed, creates form. That which I hold as my truth, not only determines my attitude about my reality, it actually shifts the circumstance of my reality.

 

...to be continued.

 

Insight Rarely Comes Fully Formed

Some years ago, a PBS series aired (the name of which escapes me) where, each week, the narrator took the viewer on an amazing journey through time and history. The program showed how knowledge and creativity, from many different corners of the globe, came together to facilitate, finally, the creation of --say, the modern computer-- or whatever was the object of that week's inquiry.  

 

Similarly, a revelation rarely appears fully formed into our consciousness, but rather requires many pieces coming together into a whole. A new thought, an insight, an idea is taken in through the intellect. There, it is processed, mulled over, questioned. Verbal exploration of this new thought brings a greater understanding and at some point, this intellectual knowing gives way, dropping into the heart space, where we experience it on a feeling level.

As more and more related bits of information (perhaps from things we read or conversations with friends or classes we take) are brought to our attention, this insight moves down into our belly where we digest it--so to speak-- try it out, gather evidence of its validity. Even so, it still could not be called an integrated, fully functioning part of how we manifest in the world.

Some insights may take but a moment to reach the place of integration. More often than not, it takes much longer for a new thought/truth to reach the core of our Being—that place where it is no longer just an interesting concept or even a stated Universal truth, but our Truth, a truth that daily informs our life. 

 

Put simply, the process of integration might look like this: think it, speak it, feel it, do it, BE it.

 

...to be continued.